


Distorted Reality

by MiddleKeyFangirl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Assisted Suicide, Depression, Hallucinations, Hurt Tony Stark, Irondad, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Other, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Natasha Romanov, Reality Stone (Marvel), Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-01-14 18:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleKeyFangirl/pseuds/MiddleKeyFangirl
Summary: The Avengers had failed. Half of the world had died and there was nothing they could do about it. The mad titan had gone mysteriously missing, leaving only a single, red stone behind. A stone Tony managed to obtain and has been infatuated with ever since. The stone gave him something he lost, which he saw nothing wrong with. But the stone took his sanity, and Tony began to spiral.And all he could think about was Peter whispering into his ear.He could only dream that Peter was really there, and that whatever was driving him crazy was a living boy, and not a figment of his imagination. But what good is a dream when a person never sleeps? And how good is an infinity stone if it can't bring back the one thing Tony wanted the most.(This takes place before Endgame but after Infinity War, and disregards the plot of Endgame)





	1. One

It felt like he was being drained. He wasn't sure why he held on, squeezing the stone so tight he thought his skin might break, leaving a dark, crimson red smudged across the smooth facets. The fact that the stone didn't kill him the first time he picked it up (or at any point after that where he had come in contact with it) from the lab table both perplexed and disappointed him. 

 

Steve had managed to pry the stone from the gauntlet, Thanos fleeing immediately thereafter. There was really no point to taking the stone, in Tony's opinion, as Thanos had already achieved his goal. 

 

"Well now he can't do it again. As soon as we find a way to destroy it, the universe will be just slightly safer. Which is better than what we would have if he had all six of the stones," Steve had said.

 

"And how exactly are we going to destroy it?" Tony fired back. "Wanda's dead, Steve! That was pretty much the only conceivable plan we had for destroying the damn thing!"

 

"You're the genius here. Figure it out."

 

"Oh no-no-no," Tony laughed bitterly. "You don't get to give me that shit. Not after that whole stunt you pulled with Barnes and the Accords."

 

"I did what I had to do!" Steve shouted.

 

"For a friend? Call me what you may but I would never do that for any of my old friends that had turned into murderers."

 

"I loved him," Steve slammed his fist down onto the table. Tony looked at him, taken aback. Steve's eyes were brimmed with tears. "But there's no way in hell we can get him or anyone else back. Not without losing even more of us."

 

"We'll never know if I destroy this thing," Tony pointed out. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking.

 

"If you're not going to destroy it, figure out how we can get the other five to get back what we lost."

 

Of course, Tony still hadn't created a plan. Hadn't even begun to plan it in his mind. The only thing he could focus on was the stone- how it felt in his hand, how his brain wavered, and how it summoned things Tony couldn't bear to look at. 

 

Especially when Peter came to talk to him.

 

And even though it was happening for hours everyday at this point, Tony still could not get used to his dead mentee hovering and muttering around him. 

 

It wasn't that he was afraid of ghosts; he knew they weren't real. It was the eerie messages the Peter apparition tended to whisper to him. And the way he could feel Peter's cold hands cupping around his ear to deliver Tony seemingly endless amounts of painful words and a shovel to dig an even bigger pit of despair.

 

His words were nearly always chilling and menacing, leaving Tony locked up in his room silently as he fidgeted with the glowing red stone. The only time the ghost-like boy was sweet was after Tony couldn't take it anymore. Peter would convince him it was okay, and that he was sorry for frightening him. But he wasn't. Because everytime he showed up after apologizing, he was back to tearing Tony to pieces. Sad, lost and broken little pieces.

 

"You're not Peter," he mumbled the first time the apparition like boy stalked him from the corner of the room.

 

"I am," he said. He was sitting cross legged on the desk pushed up against the wall. Something Tony deemed very Peter like.

 

Tony eyed the boy, comparing every feature with those of the real Peter Parker. The Peter Parker that was supposedly dead. Terrifyingly, there wasn't a difference that Tony could remember. The Iron Spider suit was just as Tony recalled. It looked identical to the one the real Peter had fought and died in on Titan. But more importantly, the boy didn't show any sign of turning to the dust of Tony's nightmares.

 

"No you're not," his voice shook, unsure. "You're dead."

 

"Not to you," he smiled. It reminded Tony of Peter's sweet smiles given when Tony praised him. But there was cyanide laced in that sickly sweet grin. And the scariest thing to Tony was that he couldn't figure out what it meant.

 

"What do you mean?" Tony hesitantly asked, approaching the boy.

 

"Well," Peter started, tucking his fist beneath his chin. "I'm only here 'cause you want me to be." He giggled childishly.

 

"You lost me."

 

"I'm here because you want me to be here. Whether you know it or not. That's how powerful your mind is, Mr. Stark," Peter swung his legs off the table and began to sway them back and forth, kicking the air gently. 

 

"Kid," Tony nearly hissed. He knew this wasn't Peter, but he wanted desperately for it to be. He missed his mentee. His young protege. His unofficial son. "Please tell me what the hell is going on and why you're here."

 

The ghost-like Peter wavered for a moment, Tony holding his breath, waiting for the ghoulish boy to disappear. "If you keep asking questions like that, I won't be able to stay. And something tells me you want me to stay. And it's not just the look on your face."

 

"Then what?"

 

"Hey," his cold voice growled. "I said stop asking questions." Tony jumped back a bit. As close as this looked to his Peter, it did not act anything like him.

 

"I don't have time for this," Tony snapped. "I don't know what's going on here, but it needs to stop. This isn’t what I want." He squeezed the stone tightly in his hand, his fingers aching from the effort.

 

"All you have to do is let me go. It's pretty simple, man." 

 

"Ok well if you're going to stay, I'm going to need you to stop trying to act like the real Peter, because it's fucking with my head."

 

"You're not making the rules here, Mr. Stark," the boy smirked. "You could make them. You're just not there yet. Soon."

 

The room fell silent. Tony stared at the boy, deeply confused and equally as horrified as to why he was there. He wanted so bad to reach out and put a hand on his mentee's shoulder, but he was terrified it would cause Peter to disperse like a cloud of smoke.

 

"It really is your fault I'm here," the boy said suddenly. "There were so many opportunities for you to do the right and responsible adult thing, and you just dragged me along, pretty much only valuing my abilities. And what happened? I  _died_." The word was cold and sharp, cutting into Tony with ease.

 

"Stop," he muttered.

 

"Didn't I tell you? You don't make the rules." Tony shook his head rapidly, trying to clear out his mind.

 

"I can't-" he began to hyperventilate, tears stinging his eyes. "Please."

 

Peter's face twisted into a wicked grin before quickly turning into a horrified frown.

 

"Oh Mr. Stark, I'm sorry," he whined. "I'm just... different now."

 

Tony looked at him, utterly confused and dumbfounded. "No shit," he spat. "You're dead."

 

The apparition nodded. "Yeah. It's all my fault. I should've listened." His face paused before the evil smile returned and his empty, lifeless eyes filled with pure malice. "Although I still would've died, because you failed to do your job,  _Iron Man_." 

 

The way Peter said his name sent chills up his spine and a ragged breath through his lungs. "Stop!" He shouted, throwing the stone across the floor. The boy was gone. Tony looked around, unsure if he was relieved or wanted the fake Peter to come back.

 

Footsteps could be heard outside the door, getting closer to the grand bedroom. Tony stretched out his leg and kicked the stone under the small ottoman off to the side of the room.  _Nice going moron, you just kicked a fucking infinity stone_ , he thought, instantly chastising himself  

 

The doorknob turned and Pepper's fiery head of hair popped through the door frame.

 

"Tony? I heard you yelling." She entered the room and looked at him on the floor. He looked so broken. While he was trying to hide it, Pepper could still see the cracked spirit beneath his bold exterior.

 

"Fine. I'm sorry I startled you." Pepper frowned.

 

"Tony what's going on? You need to talk to me. Please. We've all been through so much. Lost so much. Seen so much. You especially. I can hardly imagine what's going on in that mind of yours," she crouched down to his level, caressing his cheek gently. "I love you."

 

Tony leaned into her touch and sighed. He could see the stone glowing under the ottoman out of the corner of his eye. 

 

"I just need time, Pep," he said. "Time we don't have."


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to participate in a support group, but Peter makes it incredibly difficult to do so.

"Hi, my name is Lily."

 

"Hi Lily." The group said simultaneously. 

 

"I lost my best friend and my dog. Oh those are two different people... or... beings," Lily muttered. Tony bit his tongue to hold back a laugh.

 

"Is this bitch serious?" Peter snorted. "Her dog?" Tony's smile faltered as he looked up at the venomous apparition.

 

_Shut up, shut up, shut up,_ Tony tried to shut down the idea of Peter.

 

"I can hear your thoughts, you know," Peter smirked. "I won't shut up, so you can just give up." Tony huffed and wiped his eyes, leaning his elbows on his knees to listen to the conversation. Anything to block out the wicked imitation of his boy.

 

"I didn't really have any family, so it was pretty much just us. I loved them like family," Lily sighed. "Just saying 'loved' instead of 'love' is hurting me more than it should."

 

The group leader reached her hand over to Lily, patting her on the shoulder. "Thank you for sharing, Lily," she said, offering a smile. "Ryan, would you like to go next?"

 

A slouching dark haired girl laughed from across the circle. "I hardly doubt my sob-story can top Lily's. There's no dog involved." Tony again had to stifle a laugh. While he would understand how upsetting it would have normally been to lose a dog, now was not a normal time.

 

The girl named Ryan straightened up and cleared her throat. "Well I lost my girlfriend, my sister, and my parents." Tony nodded. "Leaves me with just my psychopathic brother. Doesn't feel anything about all this," she made a grand hand gesture towards the group.

 

"I'm sure he has his own coping mechanisms. Why don't you bring him in for one of our meetings-"

 

"No," Ryan interrupted, shaking her head. "He's actually psychopathic. Diagnosed psychopath. And I just..." she sighed, "... sometimes I just wish he vanished instead of the others. I know that makes me a bad person, but I'm so scared. I want my people back. I'd trade him in a heartbeat." She wrapped her fists up in her long black locks of hair, leaning onto her knees. Her tiny body was trembling with rage and fear.

 

"I think a lot of people feel that way," said a teenage boy from across the room. "I'd much prefer to lose my abusive step-father than my mom. Sometimes- or what seems like most of the time, to me,- things don't work out."

 

"Don't you wish you had gone instead of me?" Peter pried, sporting the worst puppy-dog eyes and simultaneously batting his eyelashes. "Hmm?" Tony nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. Peter smirked. "I thought so."

 

"I hate it," Ryan mumbled, a tear spilling from her eye. She shook her head. "I hate him. And I hate myself for hating him. Fuck." The swear came out harshly, yet quieter than the rest of her words. 

 

"It's good that you're getting this out," said the leader. Peter sat behind her, mimicking her with hand motions. Tony tried to ignore it, but held the stone tightly in his pocket nonetheless. "Mr. Stark? Would you like to say anything? I know it's only your first meeting but we really would like to hear what you have to say."

 

Peter broke out in loud, annoying laughter. "She's going to think you're crazy!"

 

Tony looked at the wall clock, then sighed. "My fiance wanted me to come. I have no desire to be here."

 

"Well you're already here! It couldn't hurt to try it," the leader suggested. Tony bit his fingernail, leaning back into his chair.

 

"I'm not a dad," he blurted. "But there was this kid I had taken under my wing. He was brilliant. He would've been better than me, for sure. I believed in him. He was on my team. We fought together and he... he died in my arms."

 

The room was quiet, save for the sounds of Peter faking a cry and Ryan's foot tapping nervously on the floor. Tony closed his eyes, trying to pretend he wasn't there; that he was at home, just imagining all of this, or having some bizarre nightmare. The only thing that told him he was awake was the pinch of the reality stone against his palm. He was holding it much to tight, and he could feel his skin was about to break.

 

"I'm sure you're not alone. Think of all the mothers who were in a similar place," the leader offered. Tony sat back aggressively in his chair, the legs of the rusty folding chair squeaking like nails on a chalkboard. He began to chew his nail anxiously, trying to find the right words.

 

"Is that all there is to this group? We don't get real advice? All anyone's been doing is sharing their sad stories, and then we're all expected to reassure each other that it's okay. A lot of people died. It's not just you, so try to get over it." He laughed bitterly, and Peter did the same. "You know what's really funny? I'm seeing my dead mentor. And not in an 'I'm insane' kind of way. I know full well what's causing it. And even though he's torturing me, I can't help but keep him here. I'm scared... to let go."

 

The faces of the group members were blank, but none as pale and emotionless as the leader.

 

"I'm sure-"

 

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Ryan laughed, smacking her knee as she whipped forward in her chair.

 

"Language in the group, Ryan," an older woman said.

 

"Oh kiss my ass," Ryan sneered. "I hate this group. He literally just told you you do the same thing for everyone's issue. And what do you do with that? Nothing! Are you even qualified to counsel this group?"

 

The leader stammered, trying to explain herself, but it was too late for her to think of any excuse. Ryan had stood angrily from her chair, still laughing as she left the building.

 

"Young people these days," the older woman previously said.

 

"She's got a point," said the teenage boy from earlier. "And I'd really appreciate if you didn't piss on my generation, thanks." And with that, he stood and left as well.

 

The leader looked around the group, her eyes wavering on Tony for a second to long. Tony sighed and glanced at Peter, who was bent backwards, using the Iron Spider legs to keep him there.

 

"Yeah, but you need help, don't you, Tony?" Peter sighed. Tony gripped his head in his hands. "Who knows what would happen if you didn't come."

 

"That's it," Tony muttered, standing from his seat so suddenly that the chair bounced and the legs skidded with a screech. "I'm not letting you boss me around with this, Peter."

 

And with that, not only had Tony Stark lead a (remarkably) small uprising, but had stood up and left, doing something for himself for the first time in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> I need to stop coming up with new ideas but oh well. Updates will probably be slow for the foreseeable future. Also I read an Endgame spoiler today and am so mad at myself for not controlling the urge because it really hurt my feeling lmao. I mean, I feel like my reaction is similar to how it would've been when I saw it in theatres, so I'm hoping that's okay. But the movie's three hours long so I'm pretty sure there'll still be a lot of surprises. I'm really hoping they're going to introduce Kate Bishop, and I won't stop talking about it and I'm pretty sure my friends want to strangle me.


End file.
